Judgement Day

The incessant rain of the last few weeks which has been afflicting Andalusia like never before has prompted me to start a new project. I am going to build a boat. It will be a big one; it has to be in order to accommodate at least one pair of each animal species on earth. Once all the animals have been accommodated I hope there will be room for me and my wife and of course all our immediate family. If there is room I will also take on board a few friends, those who play golf will be given priority. Looking into the future when the rain subsides and things get back to normal I would like to bring with me a few people who I feel could contribute to a better society in the future. The first name that springs to mind is Tom Waite. Bansky whoever he is would be included, Ferran Adriá (El Bulli) also. If he is not dead already I would like Jonathon Miller on board as well as Nelson Mandela. They could act as the wise old men.

Procreation will be an important factor for the future especially as there won’t be any television so Penelope Cruz, Angelina Jolie, Beyonce, Scarlett Johansson and a few well chosen others will be a welcome addition to the crew. The boat will be leaving Malaga sometime in the near future so anyone who is not a priest, politician or pedophile is welcome to apply for passage to I do not know where. Interviews will be strict but fair. Basically you have to prove that you are a good person. The rest who screw up this world can go to hell.